The Shadows of Our Former Selves
by mirrorOfsin
Summary: "One day, we can be them again," Henry smiled at her and she made a small smile back believing him./Two scenes set before the series. T for a mild sexual situation. Reviews would be great! One shot.


**A/N:** Set before _The Tudors _and no mentions of Anne (in case any fans might think she's going to appear) Just Henry and Katherine. First part takes place a month after their marriage and coronation. Second half is a year after the Sack of Rome and part of The King's Great Matter. This is not based on any actual historical event that happened between them - just something I made up in my head. No profit being made. Of course I don't own Katherine or Henry - though I wish I could :)

The Shadows of Our Former Selves

**August 1509**

Her eyelids fluttered slowly as she took in a deep breath before opening them fully to gaze up at the sky. He watched her by his side and marvelled how her eyes were a perfect reflection of the same summer sky- blue over their heads. A small smile lay on her lips, her left hand rested just under her chest, the other lay between them. She looked soft and serene as if she was just any woman in the whole world without any obligations, enjoying the sunshine and beauty of the country.

"Katherine," he murmured and her face – God her face – all sky-blue eyes, soft and full pink lips and pale smooth skin, turned to look at him. She was beautiful with the foreign structure to her features and he felt his chest tighten as he gazed at her.

"Such perfect quiet," she said softly then turned her head back to gaze up at the sky. A bird flew high above and she watched it soar and she took in a breath, letting it out slowly as the bird disappeared from sight behind the trees.

"No one but us," she added more to herself but he smiled leaning up on his elbow to have a better view of her face. Her fingers played with the blanket that they lay on, tracing circles feeling the soft texture of the threads beneath. He caught her hand, her fingers stilled against his and she watched him raise her hand to his lips, pressing soft kisses to the backs of her fingers and then her palm.

"Seems so long ago that we were apart," he said softly against her skin. "I feel as if I have always been married to you."

"I hope you do not mean that you find me tiresome?" she teased but there was a slight hitch in her voice.

"No, never," he shook his head edging closer so his head was above hers. "I just feel as if I have always know you, my perfect other half."

His admission and his low, honest voice pricked tears in her eyes. He was breath-taking in his youthful love-struck speeches, still finding the joys of love as a great discovery. She reached up with her free hand to cup his face, stroking his smooth strong jaw. She could see why everyone adored him.

"I remember seeing you for the first time – I think I loved you then," he told her quietly and she smiled a little, her heart made a small flutter in her chest.

"You were just a boy, Harry still," she sighed slightly letting her hand fall back down and he noticed the faint longing in her eyes and he wondered if she missed her home, Spain and so asked her gently.

"This is my home; I'm an English Queen am I not?"

"But you must miss it," he persisted.

"Yes," she gave in. "But it is more of the person I was. You must miss being Harry, without so many commitments and to be less restricted."

He understood and kissed her hand again. "I do and I know you miss being Catalina," he lowered his voice to a whisper and when he said her old name, the name of her former self, it made her shiver, the foreign name adding a sensual timbre to his voice. Her breath hitched and he saw the small flush of desire across her cheeks.

"Today," he whispered by her ear. "We can just be Catalina and –"

"Harry," she breathed.

"Yes," he murmured and made sure her eyes met his before he leaned down to kiss her lips, kiss her like he had yearned to do so as when they first lay down. With her own desire raised she kissed him back without hesitation and with the same passion he showed her.

He moved above her, making quick work of the ties to her dress and he was grateful she had chosen a simple dress that wouldn't take too much time to put back on again. Her own hands were quick to pull at his clothes till they moved together, naked skin against naked skin. There was something feral, forbidden, exciting and pagan about making love outside in the clearing of the woods. They both delighted in the thrill it brought and she didn't smother her cries – having being stripped back to just a woman, Catalina, not a Spanish Infanta, not the Queen of England. Just a woman.

Spent and with hearts still racing they turned to peek at one another, a giddy laugh escaping from both of them, eyes bright and alive. He moved first tugging on his breeches before reaching out to dress her even though, he confessed, he preferred her naked but didn't want her to get cold. She smiled lovingly and kissed him briefly, warmed by his concern.

They lay on their backs side by side, hands joined, resting and ever-so often giving each other languid kisses, till in the backs of their minds they both knew it would be soon time to return. Back to reality, their present selves and duties of a king and queen. He gathered the blanket and remains of the food that they had brought and they made their way to where their horses were tethered. He helped her up before getting onto his own to begin the slow ride back.

They hardly spoke; their silence was comfortable with each to their own thoughts. But as they drew closer, Richmond Palace in sight with two stable boys waiting, she slowly drew her horse to halt and he glanced at her.

"What is it?" he asked moving his horse closer and she glanced back from him to the palace.

"We have to be Henry and Katherine again," she answered turning her head away. He reached over and took hold of her hand, she turned her head back to him, looking at him from under her lashes and he squeezed her hand.

"One day, we can be them again," Henry smiled at her and she made a small smile back believing him. "I promise, Katherine."

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**The King's Great Matter - 1528**

"If you would only agree to this Katherine; you _must_ accept that our marriage was illegal and went against God," Henry stressed bringing his hands down on the table to lean towards her.

"I can _never_ agree to something that is a lie and I will never accept that our marriage was a sin. You _know_ it wasn't," Katherine said fiercely remaining stiff in her composure from her seat.

He let out a frustrated sound, pushing away and began to pace, running his hand through his hair then looked back at her. "Our marriage is over as far as I am concerned."

"Henry…" she stood and came towards him but stopped before she was too close. "Why must you do this? Have I not been a good wife to you?" He didn't reply and she knew he couldn't. "I have known you for so long, we have shared so much. I have known you as Henry but also as Harry," she said lowly and his eyes met hers, his rims red as he stared. "Do you remember when we had that day to ourselves and we said we were Harry and Catalina once more? You promised me that day that we would be them again one day…"

"Stop this," he said roughly moving away from her and her memories. He remembered (of course he did) but wished he wasn't so affected by the memory. Wished that he couldn't see her clearly laying there and recall how he had kissed her… She saw the way his eyes clouded that he remembered and as he gazed at her she could almost believe that he was looking at her like he once had, like he did that day in the clearing in the woods.

"I am no longer Harry and will never be. I am Henry, King of England," he stated closing down sharply that she felt it like a slap.

But she recovered quickly enough to answer him. "And I am Katherine, your true wife and God's anointed Queen and I will always be her," she warned steeling her shoulders and she was, for that very moment, Queen Militant as she had been before the army she had led. They eyed each other like warriors across the field, wondering who would attack first, trying to figure out in what way the attack would come.

"If you wish to continue to fight this Katherine then I have nothing more to say to you," Henry eventually said coldly and she didn't reply, watching him with silent knowing eyes. He turned and left and she turned her gaze away, blinking back tears. She had to bury the girl, Catalina, who had risen to the surface for that moment, unable to watch the boy, Harry, she had seen in his eyes walk out on her.

_Fin._

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**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed - reviews would be love! One shot.


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